Droplets

Now back in Toronto I oddly find myself lost in the midst of pure contentment. There is a sense of admiration and love for the humanity that surrounds me

This love for life and those who are living it around me is unleashed on the community at large. This is when I'm solo and at one with my own thoughts.

Seated with shopping bags on my lap, I rest my head on the window pane of the streetcar that's jostling the human cargo back and forth. The rain isn't letting up. I look up to watch the droplets running down the edge of the glass.

A small, elderly woman stands in the aisle; her wrinkled fingers grip the steel pole for stability. The woman beside me motions for this sweet little gran to take her seat. But she won't have it. Our eyes meet, she winks and smiles. Her eyes explain to me that she's strong enough to handle the unexpected lurches that this spastic driver is making. This is fun for her.

On this dreary day she is my inspiration. I want to hug her. She's just so cool and unshaken by the unsettling crush of frustrated commuters. I want to be just like her.

Saying goodbye.

The West Coast beckoned my presence for only two days. I have a soft spot for my home and family and am not very good at saying no.

I had to return for the memorial service of my great uncle. It wasn't suppose to be a time of mourning; he lived a great life. But as I sat in a front pew studying the beauty of the stained glass window before me, I couldn't hold back the tears that needed to flow.

He was the younger brother to my grandfather and was always so young at heart. Of course he was deafer than a doornail and his heart was bad but those things aren't what you really remember about someone. He was a wonderful husband, father and grandfather and his laughter and spirit will be missed.

I glanced across the aisle and there was my own grandfather, nodding off. He's in his mid eighties and was never sick a day in his life, until now. I can't bare to think about what my life will be like when he's gone.

I love my family so much and since I was a small girl always thought that it would always be the same. I still want to naively believe that we can continue taking vacations with one another and that we'll forever and always spend every Christmas together.

I can't continue taking those I love, so dearly, for granted.

While at home I had only two days to sort myself out. I enjoyed the family dinners and the rocket style lunch with a close friend.

With my carry-on luggage in tow my mom and I embraced to say our goodbyes. Her eyes welled up, "Mom we're supposed to be good at this by now." I said. But, in all honesty I don't think I'll ever be good at saying goodbye.

Content

When I opened up my blog account I realized that I've been sporadic. I have numerous entries that I just didn't finish.

I feel this way about my experience here. I wanted to do so much but there wasn't enough time. It's all happened so quickly. I had to brace myself for all that I was going to learn. Despite the slower pace of this town both professional and personal lessons were still chucked at me on a daily basis.

Even though packed luggage surrounded me as I got ready for my last day; the morning began like any other.

The woman that I refer to as my Lethbridge host mom made the coffee and we sat and chatted. We both have the gift of the gab and are very similar. We were taking our time because this would be our last chance, I had to say my goodbyes.

I set off for work. Like every other day for the past six weeks I immediately hopped on my stories for the day. Before long it was lunch and the station was taking me out. Destination of choice, The Cheesecake Cafe.

Our tech, reporting and directing staff cozied up at the table. We are all content in each others company. The time spent with everyone has been a wonderful experience.

Back at the station my news director was giddy with excitement when he asked me to, 'Sign the wall.' He decided that he would from now on have interns sign a wall in the basement, to mark their territory.

As he came up with the idea at lunch I was the first to sign, "It's been swell. Thanks for everything. Robyn Burns Ryerson '07."

I left the station a bit early to organize myself for my flight tonight. It was a feeling of accomplishment and pride with a twist of melancholy.

My jumper flight to Calgary has just arrived. I'll miss Lethbridge it offered up everything it had to offer and I took advantage of every wonderful moment.