Could this be love?

Today is that day. You know, the day singles loathe and the one boyfriends forget or sweat over, if you're lucky.

No, I shouldn't say that.

To be blunt, Valentine's Day has always pissed me off. It's the one day in the year that has the power to hurt countless people's feelings, to squash any heightened expectations or feel forgotten.

In elementary school I was always the last girl that was asked to dance at the Valentine's Sock Hop. Today, I blame it on my awkward height and my uni-brow, which since then has disappeared.

Over the handful of years that I've had a boyfriend on this notorious day, it hasn't always been champagne and chocolates. But then again, I'm not that much of a traditionalist.

The man I'm with today does his best with what he's equipped. He's no Casanova. No, he's more than that. He's a real man. One you can whole heartedly trust and adore for just being him.

I'm gushing I know.

This year I was short on cash so I agreed to babysit tonight. My man joined me. We made cupcakes (just before he arrived) and then played Uno with the girls, who absolutely adored him; the youngest was actually flirting with him!

Now, we sit. Two glasses of rose and two laptops, just the way we like it.

Whether celebrating or loathing: Happy Valentine's Day.

What can I do now?

I pace my room. Sit down, for just a moment. I trim my finger nails. Oh my toes look like they need another coat of nail polish.

Get up and move to the kitchen to pop some popcorn on the stove. I love making it on the stove. It dances, pulling back flips in the air. I wish I felt this way today. I wish I felt like dancing. I can't even get dressed and I can't focus on my work.

I slept too many hours last night. I'll blame it on that. Now my whole day is off.

The bowl of salted popcorn is reduced to un-popped kernels when I realize the Women's Network program I'm tuned into is actually making me dumber. I get up and move back to my room, still not dressed.

Turn on some live streaming radio and make my bed. I look at my chair. It's swiveled to the side, inviting me to take a seat. So, I sit and place my fingers to the keys. Is this the moment? Am I ready to finish this assignment? Could this really be it?

No, I decide to blog instead.

Gum Boots

According to the receipt these bad boys cost $26.78. And they were worth every penny.

The weather in the city has been less than ideal with what I know to be, traditional Ontario Winter conditions. The thermometer must be confused as hell. One second it's a snowy blizzard and in the next moment it's a Spring day, raining like it's April.

I walked up to the bank over the weekend, which is about a 6 block walk. By the time I had arrived I was kicking myself for not bringing along an extra pair of socks. My poor, sad excuse for canvas Winter boots were soaked from the slush.

I hurried home before I became too chilled. I then quickly rerouted my day, heading over to the closest Winners to pick up some good ol' gum boots or wellies if you like.

Haven't been able to peel them off since that moment of purchase. They may not be the most fashionable statement as I believe that fad has faded, but I just don't care.

They're comfortable, they keep my feet dry and you have to admit stomping through slushy puddles like a 5-year-old is rather invigorating.

Most of all these new friends are reliable through very unreliable weather conditions.

*Another mini blizzard is on it's way for the GTA tonight.

Free fun

I really have no money. I'm tired of uttering that phrase. It's boring to me, drab.

Someone who isn't boring to me, my little sister, flew in last Saturday to shake up my little life.

She had no expectations, but I did. I always have expectations of myself that generally exceeds what's financially capable. So, I stressed about about entertaining her. But, after our first day out on the town I did my best to let those feelings of inadequacy wash away. I wanted to enjoy every moment, every ridiculous moment.

Together I truly believe we're a force. One of my roommates commented on the way we speak to one another. She said it almost sounded like we were about to erupt into a fight, but no that's us being endearing. We've both always been two very impassioned young women.

She alone can walk into a room and completely fill it with her creative energy and spirit. I never used to understand it, but now I get it. She's so wonderfully complex and I love it.

So, we spent just a handful of days talking and walking because that's all I could afford. I wanted my sister to see parts of this city that she hasn't. I'm afraid this might be the last time we're together here. So, we made the most of it.

We had cheap to free fun:
Sunday * Walk throughout the Fashion District on Queen West St.
* Walk through little India - all you can eat Indian Buffet ~ $12.00
* Live Irish music & $6 pints at Dora Keogh (141 Danforth)

Monday * Walk through High Park's Free zoo. Photo op with Highland Coos & Bison
* Royal Ontario Museum 45 minutes before closing is ALSO free. Just a note the Dinosaur Exhibit is on.

Through both our walks and talks I was able to get a glimpse into how my sister is beginning to view the world. I was able to also see how she views it through her lens. These are some photos my baby sister (soon to graduate high school) took while here in Toronto.

Life isn't paradise, but it feels like it when I'm with you...

I never knew you could love someone so much.



My mom is my confidant, my inspiration and my best friend. She's the only one who always listens; even if I'm venting about nothing important and am being absolutely, whole heartedly ridiculous. She's the only one who really knows what to say. And she's the only one who knows how to make Christmas Trifle, properly.

My mom is the only woman I know who is truly passionate about life and who is curious about everything. She's the only one who can keep me organized. She's truly the only person I know who has had a cell phone since 1997 and doesn't know how to text message.

With the deepest, truest love I want to wish her a wonderfully content 48th Birthday.

WATCH OUT WORLD! Only 2 more years until the BIG one and my mom definitely knows how to have a good time.










Ceileigh with our Mommy





Happy Birthday Mom. xoxox

Just send it already!

I laboured over this cover letter for weeks. Finally this morning it felt finished.

As I burnt the remaining demos off of my Mac I thought to myself, this is the first step. I'm taking the first step towards a career I've been training for over these last 3 and a half years.

Many of my friends here have already worked as journalists, whether it was a paid position or an un-paid internship. They pushed themselves through these packed semesters and they have the gray hairs and caffeine addictions to prove it.

I on the other hand see myself building momentum. I'm building it in a healthy, sustainable way. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

I sent my two applications to work for CBC Radio One in Northern B.C this summer. One was sent to the head office and the other to the station that I want to work in.

Hunched over the post office counter, I carefully printed out the address of both locations in the most permanent of Sharpies (we can't have it rubbing off, now can we). As I sealed both cushioned envelopes containing my resume, cover letter and both my radio and television demos my heart dropped. Did I spell the Executive Producer's name right? Good God, did I forget an 'e'? How could I be so stupid?

In a panicked flurry I speed walked home.

My worry was for nothing because I spelt it right. I was fine, but I'm still nervous.

I really want to get industry work before I head off in late September to back pack through Europe and India.

If it's meant to be it'll be. If I tell myself that enough times maybe my mind will sit at ease for a moment or two.

Barbeque Season

It's currently -12 with a wind chill of -21. I'm wearing long johns under my jeans.

I was invited out to a friend's house for dinner by her parents. They wanted to ensure that a young West Coast girl, living away from her family ate heartily on a Sunday night.

A fire rumbled in the hearth and reggae music cooly played off the background. By candle light we ate barbequed ribs, corn on the cob, baked potato with garlic butter and stir fried vegetables. And for dessert banana split ice cream bars. All home cooked, all delicious (except for the dessert of course).

I drank copious amounts of shiraz and laughed all night. It felt so good.

My friend and her family spend a lot of time in Barbados. This is the only Caribbean Island I've ever been to, but it made me realize just how much soul the culture has to offer. Tonight was full of that soul food and it did my heart so much good.



* The 4 B's: Babes, Bikinis, Barbados, Beach



* Anticipation before the helicopter ride.



* View from the helicopter.



* Drinks aboard the 'bottomless' Jolly Roger



* After the bottomless drinks aboard the world famous booze cruise.